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Monday, May 26, 2008

I'm Officially a Blogger- Why oh Why?

Oh why oh why would I ever need to have another thing to check everyday? Maybe because this one is for me, and not just for connecting with friends. I fumbled across these blog things by accdent a few weeks ago. I was on a facebook group and saw something about a baby named Jacob. Now if someone says baby, I am all over it. Especially if that baby is ill or in need of something. This baby was born with Trisomy 18, a fatal disorder in which 50% only survive past their first week of life, and 95% pass before their first year. How sad, or is it? God provided me with these blogs to read just as one of the children at work was very very sick. We thought she had a cold, but it turned out to be pnemonia. While in the hospital she developed Strep A, and had very serious reactions to many antibiotics. As the doctors tried to figure out what was going on, her lungs filled completly. Her parents toyed with the idea to pull her off, as the doctors said there was no hope, and that she was in "very grave," condition. Her chest x-ray was a "white out" meaning there was no area in her lungs for oxygen to reach from the ventilator, and therefore oxygen was not getting to her brain. For a child with a disbility and seizure disorder, this additional stress on her body was deadly. Whenever my girl would hear noise or be moved, her stats would drop. Her body would freak out, and the doctors couldn't figure it out. But just like my sweetheart, she never gave up. She is so strong and brave! For nearly three weeks she needed the vent, but then they found a medicine that helped. She started to improve quickly, and came off the vent, started eating, and could move around. She's truely a miracle. Back to the point, I was really struggling with this. Why would such a beautiful girl be suffering? I didn't want her to suffer, but I didn't want her gone either. As I read about babies with Trisomy 18, I realized that God has a specific amount of time for each of us in this world. If she was to go at that time, then I had learned so much from her. I started to feel at peace with whatever God was going to have with her. The moms and families of children with Trisomy and other disorders are so brave, and they bring glory to God. I want to share that with others, or at least write it as it helps me process my days. Unfortunetly, I can't post pictures of my children from work, this is a confidentiality issue, but trust me, they are beautiful and perfect. So I'm a blogger. Maybe it's for selfish reasons for me to reflect on the kids at work and my days and how God uses me in it all, but maybe just maybe, someone in need will stumble across this blog at the right time, and God will use it in their lives as the blogs of others have served me.