Dear Parent

Dear Parent, Today I walked to the parking lot and before I got there I knew it was your son having a meltdown and not wanting to come in the building. The first thing I noticed before I even got out the door was that you had left. You drive him to and from school and no matter what the day is like, you are smiling. I often secretly wish we could be friends, I admire your constant smile because by all means you should be exhausted day in and day out. You are a single mom to two, and you work nonstop to give them everything they need. Anyways, I am getting away from the point. I saw you had gone and there were at least ten staff trying to manage your son. I turned to two staff who were also responding to assist and said 'can you imagine how that mother feels every time she has to leave him when he is upset?' You leave me speechless. You call your son's teacher Superman, but truly you are the superhero. A mother has an instinct to fix everything, and when you are selfless to admit, 'he needs more then I can give him,' you show how being a parent is sacrificial. By book standards and many professionals you should have out your son in a group home where he can be managed. People probably think he should be medicated until he can't move or he should be spanked more until he behaves. I'm sure some of those options have been tried, but you are on a marathon, and you aren't sprinting in your quest for the best for him. You are looking for the long term for him even if the hours are long and finding that takes his whole life. Even if I told you how much I admire you, you would insist that this is what a Mom does for their child. You are not only his cheerleader you are ours. You make us laugh, claiming his hiding in the trunk was some 'crazy Soprano #%%*.' I hope you know that your confidence in our staff, gives us confidence in ourselves. And there is only one reason that we all continue on this marathon, your son is completely, one-hundred percent, without a doubt.. WORTH IT!!! Sincerely, Behavior Analyst without a clue

Dear Parents, I sat across from you today. You both had tears running down your face and pain in your heart. One of your kids is struggling and it's affecting your family more than words can express. I will never pretend to know your son better than you. I will also never pretend to understand what you are feeling. I've watched families walk your path time and time again, and it never gets easier to watch. You told me how a broken system has not only let you down, but has let your son down time and time again. If our students came with instructions, we would have nothing left to learn. It sure would be a lot easier helping your son get to the bottom of what he is struggling with though. Even if someone handed me the book on how to 'fix' his issues, I'd refuse it. He is an individual. He doesn't fit a mold and he isn't in a textbook. Actually, no child is. Any parent who says their kid is 'easy' is lying. You are on a journey that many will never be blessed with. More will never have the guts to step a foot on. You, are parenting, and you are parenting with your heart and on your son's agenda. You are doing the best with your situation, and you are doing a great job. Your son, despite his issues has a huge heart. He is a gentle young man with eyes that melt my heart. Your son is perfect in his own way, and will get over this hurdle. Your son will have a bright future and your son will look back at this time and realize sometimes parents do things out of love, not out of punishment. I wish I could hug you and tell you that it will be all right in a few weeks, but that would be a lie. What I will promise you is we are not giving up on him. We will do our best to stand by you and help you and him together. Your son is worth it, and he doesn't deserve anything less than the best. Sincerely, Optimistic Behavior Analyst